Self introduction of myself
Subject: self introduction of myself
Dear Professor Brad,
My name is Lee Wei En, and the purpose of this email is to introduce myself. I received a diploma in mechatronics engineering from Temasek Polytechnic in 2020, and I'm currently enrolled in SIT's mechanical engineering program.
After my internship I started to develop an interest in engineering. In order to land on a higher-paying job, my father wanted me to major in engineering. The interest of engineering did not become apparent to me until I completed an internship at Liebherr Singapore. There, I discovered how engineers use a variety of engineering skills to improve systematic ways to check products for quality before passing them on to customers. My interest grew after that and decided to continue studying to advance my engineering capabilities.
My outgoing personality, which enables me to express myself
in front of others, is a strength of mine. But only when I'm speaking Chinese.
My weakness is that I read and pronounce English poorly, which makes me
unconfident when speaking with others in English.
My first goals are to communicate confidently in English.
After two lessons on critical thinking and communicating taught by you, I
discovered that, in addition to technical skills, communication skills are
required as a leader so that others can understand and follow my instructions and Singapore is a multi-racial country English eventually become more important.
My second goal is to be able to properly write formal emails and proposals, as
these are important social skills in the business world.
I stand out from the crowd because I have a positive outlook
when receiving criticism. I'm a Peranakan from Malacca, and when I was 6 years
old, I moved to Singapore. Because of my poor English proficiency and lack of
English background before starting primary school, my essays are constantly
used as grammar editing tools in English classes. Others might interpret it as
criticism, but I felt I could learn from it and set a goal to make fewer
mistakes going forward.
Regards,
Lee Wei En
Blogs that I had read and commented
Jing Zhe
Bin Hong
Wai Kit
Updated on 19/9/2022
Hi Wei en
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing about yourself, i see that you are trying your best to be more proficient in your English, I hope this module will help you with it. In your introduction, "My first goals are to communicate confidently in English." this paragraph in the 4th paragraph you could rephrase it to make it sound more fluent. in the same paragraph, "understand and follow my instructions and Singapore is a multi-racial country English eventually become more important." you could add a fullstop after my instructions and continue with a new sentence. Lastly for the last paragraph, ", my essays are constantly used as grammar editing tools in English classes." you could change the are to a were.
Once again thank you for sharing with us about yourself!
Regards,
Bin Hong
Hi Bin Hong, appriciate your feedback and will take a look with my mistake.
DeleteHi Wei En
ReplyDeleteAfter reading your self introduction, I realise that we have the same weakness. Hope that we could improve after this whole module. In your 2nd paragraph, "There, I discovered how engineers use a variety of engineering skills to improve systematic ways to check products for quality before passing them on to customers." you could rephrase it to "When you're at Liebherr Singapore ...". Overall, your self introduction is well organized and concise just need slight changes. Know a lot more about you after this self introduction.
Best Regards,
Jing Zhe
Hi Jing Zhe,really appriciate your feedback.Thank you
DeleteHello Wei En,
ReplyDeleteI have read through your letter and it was really well written! I like the way you talked about your background and built upon it. I would say you with the way you write now, you can be more confident about yourself.
On the third paragraph where you mentioned, "But only when I'm speaking Chinese." This is an incomplete sentence. I would change it to something like this, "I am able to express myself comfortably in Mandarin, however I found it very difficult for me to do so in English."
I hope I can continue to learn more things from you as your letter has been a great read!
Cheers,
Hui Xiang
Hi Hui Xiang, really appricate your feedback and i will take a look on my mistake.Thank you
DeleteHello Wei En, the letter is well written with good example. Overall, your letter is well organized and concise.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteDear Wei En,
ReplyDeleteThank you for this detailed letter and the personal sharing. I really appreciate how you've put your heart into this assignment, which is well aligned with the brief. Your ideas are clearly organized and you show the generally effective language use. There are a few areas to take note of though:
1. sentence structure
-- In order to land on a higher-paying job, my father wanted me to major in engineering. > (Your dad wants a high-paying job for you, not for him, as you have expressed here.)
-- But only when I'm speaking Chinese. > (fragment)
-- After two lessons on critical thinking and communicating taught by you, I discovered that, in addition to technical skills, communication skills are required as a leader so that others can understand and follow my instructions and Singapore is a multi-racial country English eventually become more important. > (Separate into more discernible parts.)
2. odds and ends
-- My first goals > ?
Aside for those issues, you've done a good job providing supporting information for each specific content area, which allows us readers to gain a better understanding of who you are. I would, however, have liked to know more about your work at Liebherr Singapore.
It is easy to see from the info you give on your hesitation with English and your apparent lack of confidence and from your goals that you have plenty of motivation to grow your skills. What's great is that you don't hesitate to take the bull by the horns and get to work.
I look forward to our continued work this term.
Best wishes,
Brad
Hi prof, thankyou for taking your time to read my email, i will edit my email.
Delete